about me

My experiences are all just an expression of who I was at various times

This is me

As I begin my adventure into Pensionhood, I look back at my life and see all the amazing things I have accomplished which also created the lessons I needed to be more conscious about my own behaviour, attitudes, patterns and thoughts.  All these things combined have given me more compassion, patience and tolerance, and while my body might be falling to bits, my energy and internal stimulation seems to be growing.  I actually am enjoying the process of ageing. 

Now from younger years of feeling I have been on a “Mad Mouse” ride of emotions, and unbalanced thought and difficulties, I feel more balanced and for the first time in my life utterly content with who I am and how I became who I am.  My judgements are dissolving as things just are what they are.  And I can’t wait for more unfolding .

There is actually very little I haven’t done.  I threw myself into every new experience I could and have travelled the world, been suicidally depressed, competed at the Olympic Games, been married and divorced, enjoyed some weird and wonderful hobbies and jobs and sometimes I look back in absolute awe at all the things I did. 

I could give a huge history of everything but suffice to say I was a female activist trying to find a way for other women to express themselves and be valued for their wondrous strength and accomplishments without denigration or fear.  I have been a teacher of many things, which means I needed to be a student first of whatever it was that drew me to try to motivate and encourage others to be better than they think they are.

My experiences are all just an expression of who I was at various times.  And when I felt I could no longer learn anything or employers continued to have no integrity, or exploited workers or whatever else it was that I thought was not right action, I moved on and found stimulation and challenge in other places or careers.  A history lesson of the exact “whats” really doesn’t say who I am.

I hope that perhaps my writings and novels will give some idea of the breadth of achievements that have created me  – a unique being who has never done anything by half, and who has never thought an obstacle was too big or a mountain too high to climb.    My mother once said that I lived to the beat of a different drummer and she would never understand me.  I just go forward.  I see something that is interesting and just immerse myself into it and give it a go.  That’s all. 

As I age and face mortality, my life comes with more of a sense of wonder, joy and laughter and kindness, and my goodness, all the difficulties I have come through – well, I wouldn’t change a thing.

LIFE – bring it on.  I can’t wait for more.